What I don't want is for this to become some big struggle. What needs to happen is that on the days when I feel well, get out of bed, and go for a run/do other productive things, I should be proud of myself. However, on the days that I don't do these things, I don't want to spend the day depressed and beating myself up about it. In short, I need to keep it fun. I want being more active to be something I look forward to doing and enjoy, as opposed to it being something that I hold myself to and become angry over if I don't live up to expectations!
Today I actually ran a little farther than I did the other 2 days, and I also wasn't having as much trouble with my breathing. Granted, it was a bit warmer today than it has been the previous times I've gone running, so that may have helped! This afternoon, I went to target, and I did end up getting some running pants, a couple of tops, and a fleece zip up jacket. Gives me something to look forward to! Wearing a new outfit while running! hehe Despite it being a bit warmer today, I did actually wear some lightweight gloves.
I did bill paying tonight, and that is always such a huge stressor for me! (And completely the reason why I'm still awake writing this as opposed to sleeping when I have to be up at 5am for work!) A little over a month ago, I went back to 40 hours at work, which was an increase from 36 hours a week. In short, I went from 3 12-hour shifts a week to 2 8-hour shifts and 2 12-hour shifts a week. My last paycheck was even better than usual as I had put in 4 hours of overtime. Over the summer, I nearly had a nervous breakdown due to financial problems. I was deep into credit card debt and not getting anywhere in trying to get out of it, and I was really having a hard time making ends meet. Part of the problem for me is that I have all sorts of medical costs on top of usual cost of living. I really try not to buy many things that I don't need, but with high rent and lots of bills, I was having to charge things like groceries and medications. This all got me into significant trouble! Plus, due to making late payments on my credit cards while waiting for my paycheck to come in so I had money to pay the bills with, I ended up getting my interest rates raised quite significantly.I finally went to my parents back in July to discuss all this with them. I was so stressed out that I could hardly see straight, but my parents listened, no matter how bad it was, and tried to help me with it all. I cried and flipped out numerous times, but they were always there to try to calm me back down. My dad helped me get on track to take out a loan to pay off the credit cards, and that has helped tremendously! My mom and I sat down and made a budget including every single little cost that might come up. Before going back to 40 hours of work a week, I only had about $100 left at the end of the month, and this did not include buying gifts/cards/contacts/emergencies/savings. I'm doing a bit better now that I've gone back to 40 hours, but there is still quite a bit of stress when it comes to bill paying!
A few months ago, I also had to get a new car because my old one died. We know a guy who buys cars at auctions, fixes them up, and then sells them for a reasonable price, and he's gotten all our cars for us. He got me a great deal on a Nissan Maxima, and I love my car! I've never had a car this nice before! Unfortunately, my dad sold his explorer and my old car in order to pay for the Nissan, and after everything was said and done, I owe my parents around $1500 for the new car/repairs to the old one before selling it. This really is nothing, and I am soooooooo greatful to my parents for helping me out with this!! You could say that I'm guarding the new car with my life!! haha This past month, I finally started paying my parents off for the car. They weren't hounding me about it at all, but I just had to get settled with my higher paycheck in order to have the ability to start paying them back. I won't be paying it off quickly, but I am determined that I will pay back every penny....and I started by giving them $100, which wasn't bad!
I guess what has me stressed tonight is my stinking CompUSA bill for my Mac Powerbook. Almost 2 years ago, I bought this laptop with a 24-month interest-free credit plan. I am down to the last 3 months and have very little left to pay on it. However, tonight I was looking at the bill, and it said my deferred finance charges are a little over $700. It said on the statement that in order to avoid paying the deferred charges, I need to make sure my promotional balance is paid off in full by January 16 and also that my payments are received on time. Now, in the past, I know I have made late payments back when I was having all the trouble, but I've never received anything saying that I will now owe all these finance charges, and I can't tell from this statement if they are going to hit me with this or not. I sincerely hope not!! So now I'm starting to get panicky again!! I have 3 payments left on the laptop, and I will have it paid off in 2, so at least I will definitely have the balance paid off in time. There's nothing I can do about this tonight, so I guess it is best not to get myself all worked up!
At any rate, I need to stop writing and get to bed, since I have a long day of work ahead of me tomorrow!
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